Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.