Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (519)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault" http://tfl.nu/rtah
  Replies (7) Good night (4621) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there. http://tfl.nu/mjp7
  Replies (145) Good night (4619) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus. http://tfl.nu/vafe
  Replies (5) Good night (4607) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): When you wake up, I have rum and am in town http://tfl.nu/jlrs
  Replies (3) Good night (4537) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours. http://tfl.nu/o2pq
  Replies (15) Good night (4474) Bad night (1327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front. http://tfl.nu/mrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (4469) Bad night (1431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid. http://tfl.nu/7asr
  Replies (12) Good night (4459) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4411) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/2sao
  Replies (12) Good night (4396) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man?? http://tfl.nu/83cs
  Replies (10) Good night (4327) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things" (1-519): I didn't realize you were one of the "good people" http://tfl.nu/039y
  Replies (16) Good night (4312) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position" http://tfl.nu/0g0v
  Replies (8) Good night (4283) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat" http://tfl.nu/ukas
  Replies (14) Good night (4281) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/14d6
  Replies (14) Good night (4196) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/j2g5
  Replies (21) Good night (4139) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt