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who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
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