I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.