I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.