Last Night in Ontario (519)

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.

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