Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (516)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test. http://tfl.nu/ods7
  Replies (8) Good night (531) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are. http://tfl.nu/mo3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1583) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time

  (917): View more from New York City

  An adult?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time (917): An adult? http://tfl.nu/ka62
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark. http://tfl.nu/w4xu
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (2696) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall. http://tfl.nu/80cl
  Replies (7) Good night (1807) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak http://tfl.nu/keew
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently? http://tfl.nu/xsqm
  Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA http://tfl.nu/40i2
  Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions http://tfl.nu/0adz
  Replies (6) Good night (299) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted? http://tfl.nu/oqcu
  Replies (9) Good night (466) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night" http://tfl.nu/00ak
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget http://tfl.nu/57ot
  Replies (10) Good night (405) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1663) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1111) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt