So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.