so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?