just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.