just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
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Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.