Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Quebec (514)

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  She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self

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  (514): She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self http://tfl.nu/l5li
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  so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

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  (514): so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view. http://tfl.nu/r0p2
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  Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.

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  (514): Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance. http://tfl.nu/bud1
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  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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  (514): I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me http://tfl.nu/t69r
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  He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?

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  (514): He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT? http://tfl.nu/isnk
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  can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??

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  (514): can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me?? http://tfl.nu/2sh7
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  He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why

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  (514): He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why http://tfl.nu/b6q6
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  So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.

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  (514): So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe. http://tfl.nu/whvh
  Replies (9) Good night (1802) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon

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  what does alcohol mean

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  (514): the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon (514): what does alcohol mean http://tfl.nu/hh45
  Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (563)
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  gladiator or hannah montana?

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  This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.

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  (438): gladiator or hannah montana? (514): This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone. http://tfl.nu/qyay
  Replies (3) Good night (2777) Bad night (524)
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  Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick

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  (514): Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick http://tfl.nu/2v5j
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  Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?

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  (514): Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final? http://tfl.nu/e8i7
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  I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?

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  (514): I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!? http://tfl.nu/cwiy
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  I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

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  (514): I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari. http://tfl.nu/cpgv
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  OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?

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  (514): OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/286d
  Replies (15) Good night (1968) Bad night (1089) Order T-Shirt