The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We had to coat check the pizza.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough