like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.