Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line