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Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
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