no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?