Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (510)

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  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
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  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

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  (415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die? (510): I hope so http://tfl.nu/tt2l
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  Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex

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  (510): Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex http://tfl.nu/01m8
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  you told grandpa to call you daddy

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  (510): you told grandpa to call you daddy http://tfl.nu/jb8d
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  Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

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  (510): Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/p911
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  My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive

  (510): View more from California

  wats the point then?

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  (925): My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive (510): wats the point then? http://tfl.nu/1ckn
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  i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

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  (510): i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him. http://tfl.nu/wohd
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  At what point did I eat out of your mouth?

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  (510): At what point did I eat out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/tcp8
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  my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum

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  (510): my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum http://tfl.nu/or47
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  I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

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  (510): I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edrh
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  So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school

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  (510): So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school http://tfl.nu/z2dy
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  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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  (510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau
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  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
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  Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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  (510): Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret. http://tfl.nu/p1m5
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  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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  (510): He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him. http://tfl.nu/gqvc
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