She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"