She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"