please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off