I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings