so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.