He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
whose parrot is this?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.