you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo