Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (414)

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  Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..

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  (414): Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well.. http://tfl.nu/jvza
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  we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

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  (414): we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs. http://tfl.nu/5423
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  Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs

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  (414): Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs http://tfl.nu/zuhx
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  Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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  (414): Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night. http://tfl.nu/g1a2
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  I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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  (414): I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before. http://tfl.nu/ok9g
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  Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation

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  (414): Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation http://tfl.nu/xs70
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  Dave a horae rider a coqw boy

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  (414): Dave a horae rider a coqw boy http://tfl.nu/9zpn
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  i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...

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  (414): i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall... http://tfl.nu/m552
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  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
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  Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

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  (414): Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch. http://tfl.nu/js8y
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  I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning

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  (414): I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning http://tfl.nu/2xis
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  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

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  (414): Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that. http://tfl.nu/4zb9
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  The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.

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  (414): The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there. http://tfl.nu/497c
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  If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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  (414): If i need to get strippers involved i will. http://tfl.nu/3tx8
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  I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful

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  (414): I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful http://tfl.nu/jkok
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