i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...