yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.