I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.