Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.