Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving