FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare