I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.