there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
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I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.