Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?