We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.