ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.