Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??