Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.