I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends