Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Follow @tfln