Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.