Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (360)

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  Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?

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  (360): Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two? http://tfl.nu/t4gj
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  Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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  (360): Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye http://tfl.nu/wt8g
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  I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.

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  (360): I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/rb31
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  We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.

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  (360): We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat. http://tfl.nu/nbay
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  WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN

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  (360): WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN http://tfl.nu/hvye
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  I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off

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  (360): I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off http://tfl.nu/h8mk
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  I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH

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  Yes

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  O.K.

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  (253): I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH (360): Yes (253): O.K. http://tfl.nu/wpv0
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  High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

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  (360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk
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  Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis

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  (360): Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis http://tfl.nu/354f
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  Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious

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  (360): Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious http://tfl.nu/bk41
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  The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.

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  (360): The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN. http://tfl.nu/uweg
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  Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em

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  (360): Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em http://tfl.nu/8kd5
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  Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?

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  (360): Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork? http://tfl.nu/kwvt
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  All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.

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  (360): All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower. http://tfl.nu/z2xv
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  It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.

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  (360): It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls. http://tfl.nu/eao3
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