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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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