OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"