FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw