Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alabama (334)

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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  (334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr
  Replies (39) Good night (1449) Bad night (5603)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

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  (334): nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fuyv
  Replies (20) Good night (616) Bad night (5425)
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  Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.

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  (334): Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating? (1-334): You are proof that most things are best left unsaid. http://tfl.nu/quhe
  Replies (31) Good night (969) Bad night (5065)
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  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1635) Bad night (4942)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"

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  (334): Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?" http://tfl.nu/nosa
  Replies (50) Good night (984) Bad night (4794)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'

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  (334): after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in' http://tfl.nu/hpim
  Replies (13) Good night (1092) Bad night (4679)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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  (334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. http://tfl.nu/qfk7
  Replies (47) Good night (1141) Bad night (4510)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

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  (334): He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees. http://tfl.nu/sgqa
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (3854)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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  (334): I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/qbrz
  Replies (10) Good night (597) Bad night (3851)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out

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  (334): I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out http://tfl.nu/mv9d
  Replies (42) Good night (861) Bad night (3764)
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  He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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  (334): He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning. http://tfl.nu/odgl
  Replies (58) Good night (16560) Bad night (3635)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.

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  (334): I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment. http://tfl.nu/dpzt
  Replies (26) Good night (687) Bad night (3540)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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  (334): You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool. http://tfl.nu/6ccl
  Replies (7) Good night (1118) Bad night (3495)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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  (334): This hangover is way worse than all my relationships http://tfl.nu/m3xj
  Replies (6) Good night (1065) Bad night (3488)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

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  (334): you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that? http://tfl.nu/908j
  Replies (38) Good night (1471) Bad night (3380)