My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA