Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary