FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.