As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.