He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why did my mother make you get naked?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.