I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.