Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wyoming (307)

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  We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars

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  (307): We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars http://tfl.nu/sm85
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  How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?

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  (307): How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots? http://tfl.nu/gvsx
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  Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!

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  (307): Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!! http://tfl.nu/96d4
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  there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends

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  (307): there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends http://tfl.nu/lr33
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  they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

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  (307): they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/a8sv
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  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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  (307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e
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  When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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  (307): When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"! http://tfl.nu/t4t6
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  i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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  (307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn
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  i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs

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  (307): i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs http://tfl.nu/99qm
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  So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

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  Haha. Niice.

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  Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

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  both.

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  (479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3
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  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

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  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

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  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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  (307): ... I threw up in the shower this morning (406): You were "I'm not drunk" drunk. (307): I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time. http://tfl.nu/80b5
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  I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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  (307): I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will... http://tfl.nu/d1km
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  It was like doing yoga with his dick in me

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  (307): It was like doing yoga with his dick in me http://tfl.nu/3yb0
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  I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.

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  (307): I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that. http://tfl.nu/zno7
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  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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  (307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi
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