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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
North Korea, Best Korea!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
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