He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
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Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs