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he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did I show you my penis last night?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
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