They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood