Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.