Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?