Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

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  (303): You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted... http://tfl.nu/r2o3
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?

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  (303): My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right? http://tfl.nu/xxfc
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  I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!

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  It's a Tuesday.

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  (+49): I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier! (303): It's a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/jt9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1347) Bad night (374)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.

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  (303): Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish. http://tfl.nu/hxa3
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!

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  (303): Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday! http://tfl.nu/vtjz
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?

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  (303): I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters? http://tfl.nu/gcgg
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.

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  (303): You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him. http://tfl.nu/i4cz
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

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  (303): Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent. http://tfl.nu/patp
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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  (303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago

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  (303): He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago http://tfl.nu/p1nu
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..

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  (303): That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end.. http://tfl.nu/ockn
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.

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  (303): My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/0900
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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  (303): Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected. http://tfl.nu/v8lk
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt