Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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  I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.

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  (303): I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted. http://tfl.nu/7vqn
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  theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away

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  (303): theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away http://tfl.nu/plhs
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  We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences

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  (303): We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences http://tfl.nu/lf6j
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  im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.

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  (303): im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now. http://tfl.nu/s8i3
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  I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses

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  (303): I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/zlmy
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  im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

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  i dont think thats healthy man...

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  (970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl
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  Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude

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  (303): Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude http://tfl.nu/hmhg
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  Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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  (303): Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit. http://tfl.nu/weri
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  Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text

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  (303): Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text http://tfl.nu/3l29
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  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

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  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  (303): You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller (1-303): I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth http://tfl.nu/tary
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  The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you

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  (303): The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you http://tfl.nu/278m
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  But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.

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  (303): But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed. http://tfl.nu/6rp2
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  I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?

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  (303): I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class? http://tfl.nu/wrjt
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  I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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  (303): I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college http://tfl.nu/bc9j
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  It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself

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  (303): It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself http://tfl.nu/u3l5
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