Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dick very happy bro