I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
jump out the window naked night went bad
How did you get so drunk?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom