Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (303)

Last Night in Colorado (303)

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(303): View more from Colorado

There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Agreed.

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(303): There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree? (1-303): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/l0rd

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(303): View more from Colorado

The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.

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(303): The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble. http://tfl.nu/kaq2

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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

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(303): Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious. http://tfl.nu/zbxr

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I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

(303): View more from Colorado

Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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(307): I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why. (303): Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube. http://tfl.nu/4s63

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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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(303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym

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I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.

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(303): I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls. http://tfl.nu/h774

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I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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(303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8

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Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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(303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6

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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

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(303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? http://tfl.nu/o7ne

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(303): View more from Colorado

im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

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(303): im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels http://tfl.nu/5yvq

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(303): View more from Colorado

So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

(312): View more from Illinois

And maybe a life coach?

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(303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc

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She's just so happy...and so naked.

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(303): She's just so happy...and so naked. http://tfl.nu/5upc

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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw

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(303): Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw http://tfl.nu/554g

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There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?

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(303): There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain? http://tfl.nu/ibwj

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So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.

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(303): So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/vqqs

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Last Night in Colorado (303)

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