someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha