I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.