Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.