shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.