I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.