Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (224)

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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober

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  (224): Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober http://tfl.nu/war3
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.

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  (224): finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/xu8i
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  Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.

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  (224): Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God. http://tfl.nu/uf0o
  Replies (0) Good night (800) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.

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  Thats like the definition of a good friend

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  (224): You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me. (630): Thats like the definition of a good friend http://tfl.nu/1tf7
  Replies (4) Good night (4872) Bad night (741)
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  Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

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  (224): Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect http://tfl.nu/i76x
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  It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!

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  (224): It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU! http://tfl.nu/pir9
  Replies (47) Good night (4998) Bad night (717)
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  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

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  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
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  Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

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  (224): Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds. http://tfl.nu/o3kx
  Replies (7) Good night (1554) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.

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  (618): He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you." (224): Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out. http://tfl.nu/vy5b
  Replies (7) Good night (1564) Bad night (673)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

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  (224): It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo. http://tfl.nu/9q3e
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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  (314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm
  Replies (2) Good night (89) Bad night (659)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me

  (224): View more from Illinois

  RUN RUN RUN RUN

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  (847): I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me (224): RUN RUN RUN RUN http://tfl.nu/a7sq
  Replies (23) Good night (3174) Bad night (644)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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  (224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u
  Replies (8) Good night (3111) Bad night (610)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

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  (224): Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal http://tfl.nu/8wqr
  Replies (2) Good night (2198) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Stop whining I left you with whiskey

  (224): View more from Illinois

  YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.

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  (224): Stop whining I left you with whiskey (1-224): YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE. http://tfl.nu/439l
  Replies (6) Good night (1962) Bad night (593)