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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
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