I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
