Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.